There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
