That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
