Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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