when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
