Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Randomize
