Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
When did angry sex become our thing?
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
