Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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