Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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