The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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