just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Randomize
