No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
