All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
