There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
