I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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