My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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