Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
