the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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