We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
