Im at strip club and am horny
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
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