glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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