I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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