I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
