I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
i think my cat just said my name.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
