is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
