so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
