i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
