I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
