So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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