Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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