worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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