well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
