There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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