You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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