Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
