yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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