You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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