Yo dont text me then not text me
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
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