he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize