OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
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