i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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