ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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