Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
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