his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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