Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
