We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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