Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
The power of my boobs compel you
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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