There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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