can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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