Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize