Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
