I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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