careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
