Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
