No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
