This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Randomize
