sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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