Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
