For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
