3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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