remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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