Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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