I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
There r osticjed everywhere
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
