we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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