You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
