you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize