I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
