she looked like the before picture.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize
