One girl and one boy is just not enough.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
