just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
