How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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